In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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