So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
