Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
