And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
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currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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