I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
