ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
