I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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