this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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