Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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