So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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