this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
