I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
