Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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