I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
