just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
