how hairy? two words: wookie tits
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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