shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
