Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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