Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
