i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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