watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
