I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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