Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
