dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
