Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
