How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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