What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
