He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
