The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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