Taylor Swift is so right about you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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