The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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