I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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