i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
