you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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