it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize