I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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