Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
cat food counts as protein by the way
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
