whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
