I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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