I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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