im so drunk with asians
where?
always
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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