Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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