I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize