did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
