It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
im on a boat
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