I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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