plz talk dirty to me
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
