my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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