Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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