that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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