So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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