I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I love having hate sex.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
