We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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