He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize