i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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