I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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