I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being pregnant is like rehab
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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