Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
