woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
