Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
