Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
