If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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